Saturday, December 19, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
I can't express how touched I was being able to go Joshua's first Christmas program. How fitting he was an angel. To me, he is my lil' angel. He continues more than the day before to touch my heart and amaze me with his cute sayings and personality. Jesus is the greatest gift but this lil' one is my great reward. His smile melts my heart.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Wanted to share some pictures of Miss Patty Cakes. I had never heard about her but we had a blast and my favorite part was the emphasis on JESUS. In the picture above Stan the Handyman said..this box was the gift Jesus wanted and as you can see it is You. I am so glad I took Joshua to be apart of this.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
I am so thankful to God for my boys. They are my great reward. They have taught me so much about how God, My Father, loves me and to think God's love is greater than I can even comprehend. He loves me so much His eyes are red like fire with the love He has for me and for them. My boys are God's boys.. I gave them to Him. I trust every moment of their lives to Him.. no matter what happens.
I am still learning on how to be a mom God calls me to be and to be a positive mom. To instill values, love and His Word in them. Being a mom is one of my greatest accomplishments. I hold in high regard and honor. It is my most important ministry. I truly cherish it.
Let me tell you about my boys. They are amazing. They are 17 years apart in age and they are so close. They adore one another beyond any description possible. They each have a calling by God on their lives. Kyle to pastor/evangelize and Joshua a prophet. They love people like no tomorrow and bring joy to our family.
They have made me a proud momma and I am so grateful to God for giving them to me. I pray I train them in God's precepts and ways. I am proud of who they are and what they will do in this lifetime.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I think of the verse..As a man thinketh in his heart..so is he.(Proverbs 23:7) What condition is my heart in? What have I become recently? Am I burdened by fallen relationships and scarred by them? Have I forgotten my passion in my heart for serving? When did I become burdened and not see it? Was I asleep in my spirit-man?
Last night in an instant God did supernatural surgery on me. My Great Physician came down and circumcised my heart. Where was I when all these burdens and hurts manifested to control my attitude of my heart. After all isn't that what God wants is a loving pure heart.
I met a wonderful man last night in deaf ministry. He clearly to the human eye born with deformities and a disease that was rare. I didn't see that. I saw a pure heart worshipping God with all he had in him and content.. I said CONTENT. He signed as he worshipped and God used him to initate the heart surgery I needed. I would almost believe He was God sent as an angel in disguise.
I tend to worry..yes, worry lately about leading deaf ministry and interpreting all services but when did that change from a passion, desire and love of mine. When did it become work?
Why am I so hurt by my family? I have a family most don't and I have a wonderful husband and two amazing sons. I let the hurt go for good last night. I have learned I cannot control others hearts or even try to figure it out or try to spare their heart. I AM to check my own heart and as long as that pleased God I am good. Not the outer appearance of good, but the heart condition.
The young man is two years older than my oldest son. I helped him with the Lord's Supper knowing he mentioned he ate by a feeding tube when I offered coffee. I walked with him to get the elements and help him return to his seat. In that instant I was changed. I Praise God. Jesus died to make us whole. We tend to make it our definition of what is whole. As long as our heart is whole and pure that is everything to God. This man was fearfully and wonderfully made and it doesn't matter if no one saw that in his outer appearance. I did. This body we have is temporary and not what God looks at.
Today I release my family to God. I forgive and am made whole. What is to come? I don't know but I rest in peace knowing my heart is right and pure. I won't be focused on what I don't have or what has failed. I am healthy. My children are healthy. I have so much to be grateful for. I WILL NOT LIVE IN THE PAST because my heart is new. New has come.
I repent Lord of a burdened and hurt heart that made me react in defense. To my family, I repent before you of hurts I have caused to your heart. I don't know if things will be restored but know I love you. I am at peace. I have to be sure my heart is pure and loving and not reacting to hurt.
I repent of feeling obligations to minister when it is a blessing to even be used. Because this vessel is so unworthy to be used by you Lord but somehow You do use me.
I step into a new day.. with a new heart... unashamed...renewed passion.. healed and preparing to serve and love like never before. No longer consumed by outward appearances or situations but focused on a heart that pleas to be like Yours Lord.
So there is my heart ...open to you and ready for new conditions that please God and ready to love you.
Friday, July 24, 2009
He is the song over our life and He knows every note, cord, every word, every verse, every rhythm.
Our lives are a song to Him.
A sweet fragrance to Him in how we sing our life.
How it ministers to those around us for His glory.
It reminds of how when you hear your own children sing worship songs along with the radio and how it blesses you.
Just something in your heart leaps with love.
How much more is our song when sung along with His and makes His heart leap with love and joy.
God You are my song I sing.
LORD I want to hear Your song over me.
How you sing Love over me and desire to dance with Your Beloved.
The fragrance would fill the room as much as Your Love.
I long to be intimate with You LORD.
No more break in the chorus.
No more it being a song repeatedly in vain.
But a song that comes from my every being into Your Holy Heart and Holy Place LORD.
IT IS a good and delightful thing to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises [with musical accompaniment] to Your name, O Most High, To show forth Your loving-kindness in the morning and Your faithfulness by night, With an instrument of ten strings and with the lute, with a solemn sound upon the lyre. For You, O Lord, have made me glad by Your works; at the deeds of Your hands I joyfully sing. How great are Your doings, O Lord! Your thoughts are very deep. (Psalm 92:1-5)
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I am so blessed to have made valuable relationships this year and last year in OnePrayer. I look back on one year ago and today and am proclaiming how great our God is and how wonderful are those people He brought into our lives to serve together and the many doors that were open and will be opened through OnePrayer.
I thank God for a wonderful church that thinks of the less fortunate and loves on a city no matter what it appears to be like. I am so grateful to be apart of it.
There were so many great people in our small group that were unable to attend the outreach day and I would love for you to go to this website and look at their pictures if you have a Facebook account. They each are a blessing to God and to me.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Thank you Lord for my father! Please heal him from the horrors he saw at Vietnam and Lord, I pray a deliverence of all that binds him. In Your precious name. Amen! So be it!
Friday, July 17, 2009
As I was skating I fell and broke my arm. I was in shock and thought I had a cramp in my arm begging someone to get it out. The next moment a man came running and picked me up and ran to the office of the rink.
I was sent by ambulance to the hospital where they gave me Demerol which I had an allergic reaction to and slapped the doctor. Then they gave me Valium to counteract it, which I was also allergic too. I hallucinated all night screaming and remember most being terrified of the spiders all over the room. They keep me overnight because they actually suspected my mom being abusive because of my anger towards her. I was upset with her because I didn't understand why she didn't help me. All I wanted was that man who helped me. He did come to the hospital to check on me. I never forgot him.
So now we are a few months ago. I am on Facebook and get a message in my inbox asking if I lived in Hayden. I replied yes and got a friend request from Terri. She asked me if I broke my arm at the skating rink. I replied yes. She immediately IMed me and we talked for a while. Terri is the daughter of the man who helped me who is my age. I never knew she was even there or how scared she was seeing my bone out of my arm. I expressed how her daddy became my hero that day and she replied,"My daddy become my hero that day." I was speechless to see how God used the situation to touch her life too. He works all things for our good.
She went on to tell me that they always thought of me and wondered how I was. Her dad never forgot me and even thought of me a lot and prayed for me. This reached down in my soul to a place of where I had a wound of feeling a loss from my relationship with my father. I wanted a dad who prayed for me and took me to church. As I grew older my dad's drinking problem become evident especially the past 4 years. He is such a kind-hearted man who is bound by alcoholism. This limits my relationship with him and my family. I had been mourning this when I heard Terri's dad had prayed and thought of me. God showed me immediately that although things seem at a loss the thing He is doing that I don't see are for my hope, future and life. To find out I did have a man praying for me all my life completely touched me.
Yesterday I met them all for lunch. I pulled up and smiled at them and immediately felt like I had known them my own life. I got out and walk in like I had lunch with them a thousand times before. There was no awkwardness or nervousness but a feeling of they are my family. I had the best day with them yesterday. God is doing a work in me and healed me yesterday of family problems or lack of relationships in my family. God is my Abba Father and He sends people to be part of your life who change it forever. I sat across from Mr. Chatham and feel like he is a father to me. Him recalling what happened that day and saying he called my home several times to check on me. I never knew that. He said he never forgot me.
Our families grafted together yesterday and I am so thankful that God moved to make this happen for me 29 years ago. I am awed that God my FATHER has every care for me to go before me in my life and plan it for my every benefit and hope. I am so thankful for this family and who they are becoming in my life. God brings the sweetest blessing of family and I am thankful for this one and my own.
I do want to share that my dad has called me more lately sober and we have had long great conversations. I am trusting God to restore my family this year in every way and I know this is just the beginning of the great works He is doing.
Below are some pictures of my day yesterday. To Terri and her dad..you have blessed my life so much and God used you to heal me in a way I can never express. It most of all shows me that My Heavenly Father cares for me so much He ordained this to be. I love you all and know how precious you are to me now and always.
I look forward to being part of your lives. I feel like I have always been in it.
Friday, July 3, 2009
On the way home we took the back way and had some nice family time. Pointing out chickens, donkeys, cows, horses and all sorts of animals. We stopped to let Joshua see the cows and stopped at a local farmer's market type store and got Joshua some ice cream and some veggies.
As I grow older I have learned to take one day, moment at a time and cherish it. We only have one life to love and I love my life!